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Chapter 5
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“M-magic?” I squeaked.
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Estra the Wanderer cocked their head at me, the dark curtain of their hair falling to the side. A sort of half-smile twitched the corner of their lip. “What, don’t tell me you call it M-DIAF in Espin. Such a dry name for something so… artisanal.”
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“No - no, it’s not… not that.” Damn my knotted tongue! How to explain to them? Well, I shouldn’t have had to - they were born in Espin just as I was. They had known the social mores.
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Their gaze was making me flush. There was still a small piece of my childhood friend in the Wanderer, that much I could see. Still a sort of taut strength in the way they carried themself. Except… when we were children, it was the strength of a workhorse: calm, proud, responsible. Now it seemed more the wild strength of an untamed stallion, cantering through the Kalin fields. They were at once more muscular, yet softer, the curves of their legs accentuated by the tight traveller’s pants they wore.
How to make them understand? I had befriended Estra the Kit. I had fallen in love with Estra the Apprentice. This person who stood before me, brimming over with confidence and charisma... I did not know who they were.
My eyes eventually met theirs, and a bright shudder went through me. Their body might have changed, their personality completely rewritten, but their eyes were the same. Those same pale violet suns. I clung them as a drowning person clings to driftwood. “I simply wished to tour the city, not… partake of its vices,” I finally said.
The Wanderer’s brow knit for an instant, but it was gone in a flash. Their arched lips parted in genuine mirth. “Posel, you absolute gem! I had forgotten how much fun you are.” Their laughter was high, delighted, almost moonmad.
For the first time since my leaving, I considered the enormity of what I’d done. A good job, a fascinating delving project, the chance for a family of my own… I had thrown away all of these things on a whim to follow this stranger simply because of a childhood crush. What had I expected to happen on this little tryst? Well, certainly not drug usage. The mere suggestion of it proved that the Wanderer was even farther from the friend I had known.
They seemed to sense my indecision; now it was their turn to avoid my gaze. They let out a deep breath. “Look, Posel… I know I may be different than you remember. But, do you still trust me?” They proferred a palm.
Did I?
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I surprised myself by taking the Wanderer’s hand. “Nothing without my permission,” I said.
Estra gave me a look of mock affront, one hand pressed between their breasts, but there was a smile lurking under it. “My good Carpenter, I would never.” And with that, they pulled me forward into the depths of Alugare, the City of Indulgence.
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My head spun as we walked the gilded streets. There were simply so many things to see - things that brought me a chill of fear and morbid curiosity. Here a building out of which a thick, pungent smoke wafted. There an obese operan man leaning against a peach tree, plucking the fruits one by one and cramming them into his maw. And just afront us, at the near edge of the road, three kudrans engaged in -
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I felt a searing heat burn through my chest and my grip tightened in the Wanderer’s hand. They turned around, confused. Confused! Did they not see?
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They spun back and forth between my cherry-red face and the frolicking triad. Their stupid smirk reappeared. “What, you’ve never?” they said.
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I tore my hand from their grasp and folded my arms across my chest. “That is quite none of your business,” I said. “And I won’t move from where I stand until you stop patronizing me.”
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“Oh, it’s not patronizing,” they said. They moved to me with silvered steps. We hadn’t been this close since the horseride, and once again I found my nostrils filled with the fresh, spicy pine scent of their perfume. Their breath was warm against my cheek as they whispered. “I feel like I’m experiencing the city again anew,” they said. “I feel like a virgin taking their first steps into the forbidden. It’s… very arousing.”
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I was consciously aware of the trembling of their lip, the soft swells of their breasts contrasted by the hardness of their abdominals. They… should have been chilly, should they not? With barely half a shirt on, and those thin pants that most certainly did little to hide the… protuberance of their…
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I swallowed hard and tried to think of something witty. “So you mean to tell me that three anthrids lovemaking on the side of the road in plain sight does not perturb you in any way?”
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The smile was back, softer this time, and they clasped my hand once more. “Not unless I’m among them,” the Wanderer said with a wink. They pulled me forward. “And I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t call it lovemaking.”
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And once again we were off, the sights starting to blur together in a haze of bright lights, garish colors, and senseless hedonism. There was an almost scientific fascination
to my witnessing this. The people here had no cares in the world beyond their own
childish gratification. They ate where they wished and then lay down and slept right there in the grass. They poured alcohol all over their faces and bodies, a mere tiny stream of it actually arriving in their mouths. Were they not concerned with wasting their precious inebriates, at the very least?
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Yet there was something freeing about it, even in the vicariosity with which I viewed them. These were a people unencumbered. They had no responsibilities, no hindrances. They seemed not to even care for the race of their co-consumers or lovers. Of course, they were mostly operan, but I was surprised at the proportion of tixans and franky amazed at the kudrans. I had never in my life seen one of the strong folk so loosened in demeanor.
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After quite some distance, we found ourselves at the end of a line which stretched far away toward a distant building. The edifice itself was unlike any I’d seen thus far in Alugare, or even in Espin for that matter. It loomed over the landscape like a nesting eagle and appeared to have been carved from the very rock of the Greencaps themselves. How had they managed to create such incredibly intricate architecture out of solid rock? And with such a generally nonindustrious populace, to boot.
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It resembled little more than an enormous emerald geodesic egg, with sharply shorn triangular panels making up the shell. It glowed with a clear lustre in the afternoon light, refracting the sun into rainbows that striped the faces of those awaiting entry. The line stretched quite far back, and I wondered how long we might be in queue.
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The Wanderer gave my hand a gentle tug and shook their head. “No, we’re not waiting in this line,” they said. “Are you kidding? I have an in with the overseer.”
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“Won’t the others be bothered?” I said nervously as we passed by a pair of kudrans with folded arms.
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“You’re assuming they’re sober enough to even notice,” the Wanderer said.
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Thus it was that we arrived at the very front in just a short moment. The person guarding the entryway seemed less… guardly than I had expected. It was a short operan woman with only the most minimal possible amount of clothing on and an absurdly prodigious bosom. She certainly seemed tough, yet I was nonetheless surprised that the Alugarea listened to her when she told them to halt and wait.
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“Corientra,” the Wanderer said, sauntering up to the woman. They let go of my hand for a moment. “What a pleasure to see you.”
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The operan ignored Estra and squinted at me. “You and your pet want to enter first?” she rasped.
A twinge of indignation went through me. “Now, you see here - ” I began.
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Estra spun to me and held up a finger. “Cultural customs,” they said. “Not a demeaning thing to be called a pet here, I promise.” To Corientra, they said, “In this relationship, they are the master and I am simply their humble servant. As I serve all who want me.”
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And then they leaned forward and kissed the operan.
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I found my hands clenching into fists and my mouth working silently as the moment stretched long. What an absolute tramp, this Corientra. Planting their lips upon anyone who would have them. It made me throb… with anger, mostly.
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Finally the two parted and Corientra snorted. “You filthy sweet-talker,” she said. “Fine, take them in. But no more than two draums for the pair of you.”
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Estra clapped their hands together in an appreciative gesture. “You’re an absolute peach, Cor. Two draums will be more than enough.” They held their hand back out to me.
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I had to squeeze past Corientra’s chest to make it inside; her breath stank of wine. “Enjoy your visit,” she said.
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Once inside, I tore my hand from the Wanderer’s grasp. “Really?” I said.
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“Okay, this is getting tiring,” Estra said. “Let’s have it out, right now if we need to. I don’t want to go into that chamber with any ill will between us.”
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“Ill wi- ” I had to pause for a moment and collect my breath before continuing. “You kissed that woman! Just like it was nothing!”
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“And it is nothing, here.”
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“Well, I’m not from here and I don’t appreciate your tongue in some strange woman’s mouth!”
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“Right, well what would you appreciate?” Before I could answer, Estra rounded on me. They braced both their hands on the wall on either side of my head. “What do you want, Posel? Are we here together, or just as old friends? Am I beholden to you, or am I able to make my own decisions? You haven’t exactly been clear about what you want with me or this city, despite taking every moment to gawk and judge it.”
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“I…” damn them! But they were right; I had to understand myself before I could understand what was happening between us. “I don’t know,” I confessed. “I don’t know what I wish for my own sake and I don’t know what I wish for you. This is all happening so quickly.” My voice wavered and I felt tears prick the corners of my eyes. Damn my weakness!
A presence under my chin lifted up my head. The Wanderer stared at me, not with wry humor or with anger, but something else. Something that made me tremble with its intensity. “I understand,” they said. “It was a lot for me, my first time away from Espin. I’m here with you, for you, on this journey. But while you’re going through it and figuring yourself out… please be kind with me. I’m here because I want to help.”
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They had been moving slowly closer to me as they spoke; now, my heart fluttered in my chest. Their one hand rested under my chin, and their other was still on the wall beside my head. Peripherally I could see the muscle of their forearm.
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Their face pressed closer to mine, their body closer until their breasts gently brushed my own. Their mouth tilted towards me…
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I shuddered and put a hand on their stomach. “Wait,” I gasped.
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They pulled away, their mouth twitching into a frown. Why had I stopped it? Why couldn’t I simply let myself fall for this Wanderer?
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Because they left you once before.
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“It’s okay,” they said, although it was clear the situation was anything but. Once again, they extended their hand. “Nothing without your permission.”
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As we walked deeper into the building I finally took notice of my surroundings. We had exited a narrow tunnel into a central chamber, hewn of the same smooth green rock as the mountains. The chamber was enormous, stretching eighty feet or more to the very top. Folks of all kinds were kneeling by some sort of raised altar in the middle of the chamber; after a moment, they stood and receded down tunnels very similar to the one in which we arrived.
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“What is this place?” I said, allowing Estra to pull me towards the altar as I looked around.
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“You already know,” they said.
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I glanced down at the altar and nearly shrieked. It wasn’t an altar at all, but a mirror made of dreamglass. It had been raised up on bricks in a perfect circle, almost like a well. The dreamglass was perfectly smooth and straight and flat, a disk that covered the entire inside of the altar. More dreamglass than I had ever seen in my life.
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And waiting within it, hand outstretched in offering, was a moonborn. Its eyes smoldered with hatred. Ghostly flesh dripped and sloughed from its skin only to reform moments later. Its fingertips were razor-edged and still proffered, waiting, waiting…
Panic began to set in. My breath hitched in my throat and I shook my head rapidly. “No, wait, Estra, I’ve decided. I don’t want to take magic, I can’t do it. Please, I can’t. I’m not going to - ”
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“You’re not taking any magic,” Estra said.
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I paused. “Wh-what?”
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“You think I would let you do the transfer? I remember Espin, Posel. I know the prejudices run deep there. I’m honestly surprised you went as far as you did. But I’ll be the one to do the transfer. And then, only if you want it, I’ll give some of the magic to you.”
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“You can… do that?”
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Estra nodded, their face solemn in the dim light of the magic chamber. “There’s a lot you don’t know about magic. A lot you don’t know about the world. They tell you that tixans aren’t built for magic, but we’re built for it just fine. They tell you the moonborn want to kill you, but they’re just looking for their due. The Alugarea made a pact with them a couple of centuries ago. We can take as much magic as we want.”
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They knelt at the edge of the altar, performing a complicated gesture with their hands and muttering under their breath. “I’m sorry,” they said, putting their hand to the dreamglass in a surprisingly tender gesture. “I didn’t mean for this to be so hard on you.”
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Were they talking to me? Or to… it?
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The moonborn placed its hand on Estra’s. Its eyes glowed brighter and brighter for a moment, and then faded. It sagged and slunk away, leaving the dreamglass clear. And Estra stood up, no worse for wear nor seemingly changed at all.
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“That’s it?” I said.
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“Not quite,” they said, jerking their head towards one of the other tunnels. “The magic’s in me, but I haven’t used it yet. They have these nifty little chambers for that.”
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The chamber in question was little more than a spherical cave hewn from the rock, barely large enough to stand up in. A curved couch had been installed around the perimeter so that a person could lay down or several could sit comfortably. I sank into it, my legs trembling, as Estra quietly sat a short distance away. That small distance felt vast to me.
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“I’m sorry,” they said again.
I shook my head. “I’m the one who is sorry. I didn’t realize… I’m not ready for much of this.”
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“I can just take the magic, if you want.”
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Hating myself for feeling weak, I nodded. “That would probably be best.”
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They tilted their head back against the couch and closed their eyes. A dreamy smile drifted over their face and they let out a long sigh. “Damn, feels nice after a long journey.”
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“What is it like?” I said. With their eyes closed, I was finally able to really examine Estra. The girth of their arms, bare up to the shoulders and yet surprisingly pale for all the travelling they’d done. Their hair, fanned out over the back of the couch in all its silky luster. Their chest, rising up and down slowly. They were beautiful - even now, even using drugs in this dim little corner of Alugare.
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“Well, it depends on how good you are at using it. If you know where to put it, you can bring back some of your best memories.” Their smile broadened. They shifted their legs and I tried my utmost not to look at the swell of their excitement. I… failed.
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“Are you doing that now?” I said, my mouth dry.
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A nod.
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“What…” I cleared my throat. “What are you dreaming of?”
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“You,” they whispered.
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And suddenly I could hold it in no longer. I crawled across the couch to where they lay and pressed my lips against theirs. They were warm and soft and surprised at my touch. They tried to say something but I pressed myself harder against them, this time with my full body. I felt my own rising excitement touch against theirs and a shiver travelled down the length of my spine. My fingers cupped their jaw and pulled their face against mine and I felt
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Sunlight, laughter, joyous childhood
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I snapped out of it and broke the kiss. Estra was staring at me with no small amount of confusion on their face. And I felt… I felt…
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…good.
“Was that…?” I asked.
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Their head jerked into a nod. “I didn’t mean to give it to you! You just startled me. But don’t worry, it was barely a tenth of a draum. The feeling will fade in a few minutes - ”
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“No,” I whispered.
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“What?”
“No,” I said. I took their hand and pulled them upright. My fingertips found the arches of their eyebrows, the corners of their mouth where they always quirked a smile. “I want more,” I said.
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“Maybe we should wait until you’ve come down - ”
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In answer, I pressed my mouth to theirs again. This time, they responded. Their tongue grazed across my own, and there was a spark between them. The pleasure invaded me again as the magic took hold and
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A bright-eyed kid and a game of wallball. A smile that never left.
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A moan escaped me as I pushed my body against theirs, my erection fully stiffening. They were every bit as hard as me, their hands no longer around my neck but travelling down my body, pulling at the strings of my shirt, sliding up underneath to squeeze and massage my breasts. I pushed my tongue further into their mouth, questing for another spark of
A closed door. A saddled horse. Never a glance back at where I stood when they left.
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I pulled away, breathing heavy. Estra was trembling beneath me, their stiffness rubbing against my leg. When had we fallen onto the couch? “What?” they said. “What is it?”
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And who was it that lay under me now? Estra the Kit? The Apprentice? The Wanderer? Would this tixan tire of me as they had tired of our little hamlet outside Espin?
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I fought against the sluggish fog of my high to speak. “Are you… the Wanderer?”
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Somehow, they understood what I was asking; dark realization came to their eyes. They sat up more fully, pushing me off in the process. I fell back against the seat, somehow chastened. But I was protecting myself! I needed to know.
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I found the strength to meet their eye again and was surprised by what I saw there. They rested a hand on the belt of my trousers. “Nothing without your permission,” they said.
I glanced down at where the obvious mound of my erection tented the fabric. I trembled into a nod. Tenderly, they lay me down on the couch. Their fingers found my nipples and traced slow circles around them.
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“When I was young,” they said, “I felt there was something missing. I never knew what. I just knew that spending my life logging and pumping out children wasn’t the life for me.” Their hands continued down my stomach, lovingly caressing the paunch of my belly.
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“I thought that it was the people there, too. I hated my parents, hated the Espinea. I thought…” Their hands paused at my belt. “I thought I hated you.”
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They deftly began untying me. “Such small minds, I thought! Such small aspirations! I wanted more, and I thought I could only find it outside of Espin. So I left and travelled the world, and you know what?”
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I looked at them, unable to speak as they gently slid my trousers off. My excitement bounced upward a little bit, just underneath their chin.
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“I still wasn’t happy. I still didn’t feel whole.”
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They slowly began undressing themself - first their shirt, with their breasts hanging heavy above my hips, and then their trousers. I felt my heart leap into my throat as their magnificent erection rose up over my knee.
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“See, I thought what I needed was a new experience, a new life.” Their hands brushed the outline of my vulva and shockwaves of titillation ran through my whole body. “But it wasn’t that at all. What I needed was a person who made life worth living.”
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My whole body was wracked with tremors now as they slowly, lusciously, slid their mouth over me. At the same time their fingers entered me, penetrating deep. They pulled away and left me with another ember of magic inside and I
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Violet eyes like the moment before the dawn. Looking at me, only at me.
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“You ask whether I’m the Wanderer?” they said, holding my erection in one hand and playing around the outside of my vagina with the other. “Yes, I was. I wandered most of my life. And now…”
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They slowly raised themself up until their face was level with mine. Their body slid down mine, inch by breathtaking inch. And they pressed themself into my erection, inch by inch, wet warmth wrapping around me in a sensation unlike anything I had ever experienced before in my life. Their cock was stiff against my belly; their tongue was in my ear as they whispered:
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“I’m home.”
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